expectations

expectations...."avenues of desired anticipation"

I'm currently anticipating and waiting expectantly for spring to arrive. Although it seems as if winter will never end, I know that it is a lie. Every year since I can remember spring eventually emerges. There are four seasons, and spring will continue to come. Time has taught me that Spring will faithfully sprout itself into existence. Thus I expect Spring to come.

I expected Spring to be here already. And not only did I expect Spring to be here already, I expected it to look green and beautiful by now. Yet alas, Spring isn't quite here, and the scenery still looks a little bit dreary and shabby - not at all what I expected.

Expectations of Spring; expectations of a new season; expectations of people; expectations, expectations, expectations...but what happens when our expectations don't occur in our timing or don't occur at all? Then what?

From time to time you're sure to find seemingly well-meaning people reminding us all to make reasonable expectations. Well what happens when you make quite reasonable expectations and they just don't go quite as planed? Then what?

You already know I'm going to say GRIEVE!

For all that I've learned and experienced about grief, today I don't want to embrace it. I want my very reasonable expectations to be realities, realities that would make this next season of life look very different.

It seems like we grieve the loss of an expectation simply to create another expectation, that will  either need celebrating and rejoicing, or once again grieving....It's always a risk because sometimes even reasonable expectations have the potential to fall apart. And yet back once again to the irony of it all; if I'm not willing to risk losing then I risk not gaining, but if I create reasonable expectations, then I risk losing everything.

So do we risk nothing resulting in blank, lifeless, apathetic states of being; or do we risk everything, taking a chance we'll gain everything and then some?