Seriously...not even a few hours after I share what love and joy God has blessed me with, another loss moves in :( One of my girls "suddenly" moved out. As my heart has learned to know and feel love, it becomes vulnerable to potential loss. Sad day. I don't regret feeling love and opening up my heart to these girls, but with an open heart loss is truly inevitable :( My heart is filled with grief and loss as I said good-bye to my sweet girl.
Oh how I will miss her sweet face, her sweet heart, her sweet laughter, and her sweet spirit.
The end result - sleepover in my room. As my own heart feels loss, I am surrounded by 12 other sweet women who don't know how to handle grief well yet. 12 other girlies who still have many walls, and defenses built up around their hearts. My heart yearns to protect them from pain and just love on them. I can't do that. I can't protect them from pain, no matter how much I love them. But I think the point is that at the end of the day I love them. And as I love them, I will risk losing them. The thought of losing more of them is nothing I want to even think about, but my heart knows what its like to love, and I refuse to give that up.
So despite losing, and feeling the pain of a loss, and all the changes and transitions that will take place in our house, my heart has 12 more girls that are still here; 12 more girlies to keep loving and nurturing. And at the end of the day I still have 13 girls, for my heart still loves all 13. Love triumphs grief and loss.
Now if only I can figure out how to help the other 12 embrace grief and not be suffers. I wish I could simply tell them not to stuff, not to run away, not to shut off their hearts - but I can't. But I can love on them, hold them, cry with them, and throw sleepovers in my room....once again all because of grief.
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